All posts tagged fanfiction

Fanfiction is important, and here’s why.

Published April 2, 2018 by authorbebedora

When I started writing fanfic, I had no idea what I was doing. My writing style was nowhere near what it has since become. (I look back at those early pieces and shudder at my formatting and dialogue style!) I simply wrote because I loved a video game so much that I wanted to give the characters new stories.

And so I wrote. And wrote. And wrote. I honed my skill. I got great reviews from readers who loved what I wrote. I expanded into other fandoms, consistently improving my craft.

Then, one day, I decided to go for it. Write original fiction. Now I have a novel under my belt, with two more to come to round out the series. I’ve queried agents. I’ve put my name out there in the hopes that someone will want to put my words into print.

And you know what? I have fanfic to thank for that.

Writing fanfiction gave me confidence. It gave me ample time to find my voice. To learn to edit. To format. Made me realize that there are readers out there for every genre, every type of story imaginable.

The reason I bring this up today is pictured below. The story in question was finished in 2015, after over a years’ worth of work. And even today, I still get reviews. (Side note: to anyone writing just to get reviews…DON’T. They are the icing on the cake and you should be writing because you enjoy it and it makes you happy.) This comment left me speechless. I actually teared up. To hear someone reinforce to me that I am indeed a good writer, and that I’ve chosen the right path is amazing. We all need to hear it every once and a while, especially when we’re having days where our characters don’t cooperate, our plot bunnies are out of control, and the writer’s block is at terminal velocity.

Fanfiction started me. Made me the writer I am today. I don’t write it as much as I used to, but it’s never far from my mind or my heart.


sitd review


Fanfiction–a writer’s best weapon.

Published May 10, 2017 by authorbebedora

I recently came across a Mythic Scribes article about the importance of fanfic for a budding writer, (article linked below), and I couldn’t agree with it more.

We all know that fanfic gets a bad rap sometimes.  Sometimes it’s warranted, most of the time it isn’t.  Yes, there’s some badly-written stuff–but there’s a lot of really well-written, quality pieces.  There’s  PWP (Porn without plot)–but also a lot of fantastic erotica.  Strange pairings?  Weird crossovers?  Killing characters?  Check, check and check again.   And you know what?  That’s okay.

//small rant coming// Fanfiction is a safe place for people write what they want.  So many times, I see others talking stink about “this piece or that piece”, about how the pairing is awful, the plot is bad or it isn’t edited properly.  While some of it is true concrit, sometimes it’s nothing more than readers (or other writers) bitching about someone’s piece just because it isn’t exactly what they like–or they’re just being assholes.  The stories might not be what you’re comfortable reading, or might stray into territory that makes you cringe, but at the end of the day, there is an author behind it that is proud of their accomplishment.  Sometimes fic authors, especially new ones, don’t understand the finer points of beta editors, peer feedback and the difference between being trolled and being given real advice.  It’s our job as “veterans” to help them out so they don’t get discouraged and quit. I’ve seen too many authors get flamed for no good reason and get fed up and leave their fandoms.  You can be an honest editor/reviewer without being cruel.  //rant over, now back to the topic at hand//

Fanfiction is so important for readers and writers alike.  There are people out there who might read a story by their favorite author and be inspired to write their own.  Authors meet friends through their fandoms–and those friendships sometimes turn into lifelong partnerships.  From a writer’s perspective, fanfiction is so helpful.

When I began writing fanfic many years ago, I had a very contrasting writing style from my current (and I think) permanent one. My outlining techniques were nowhere near what they are today. My editing process was completely different. Had I attempted to write an original piece then, it would have NOT been up to par.  Writing fanfic helped hone my skills, made me more confident and gave me the courage to tell myself, “You can write that goddamn novel, lady!”

Writing, no matter what type, helps so much. It boosts not only skill level, but confidence as well. Even with one completed novel in the editing stage and its sequel started, I still write fanfic. Why? It’s fun. It’s a great distraction when I’m blocked or in a pissy mood. And let’s face it, I’m the hurt queen and well, that Episode Ignis DLC will probably be the end of all of us.

To anyone who has ever said fanfic has no purpose and that the writers aren’t legit, I say, “suck rocks.” Yes, there’s some PWP and tentacle smut, but…whatever twirls your ticket, I guess. 😉  To all my fellow fic writers–keep it up!  You never know when you might decide to leap into the original fiction pool!  But if you don’t ever want to try your hand at original fiction, that’s perfectly acceptable.  Because your characters will always be there for you, ready and waiting for you to either be nice to them…or hurt them.  *looks innocent*


Published October 14, 2016 by authorbebedora

What inspires you?

For me and my story at-large, it’s the world around me.  I watch television shows about far-off lands and can see my environment unfold before my eyes.  I attended my brother’s wedding, and decided that one of my characters needed to tie the knot.  Walking through a hedge maze this last summer gave me a great idea for a perilous situation for my heroes.

When I was writing fanfic, it was the existing stories and canon.  Don’t like a situation a character was placed in?  Change it and call it AU!  Want to give them a new adventure? Go for it!  Kill someone?  Well…we won’t discuss what I’ve done.  It’s between me and my readers.  *looks innocent*

But what inspired me to write in the first place?

When I was young, I always had my nose in a book.  First it was Ramona and Superfudge.  Then I graduated to Star Wars and Star Trek novels I’d get at my favorite store, Waldenbooks.  Remember that one?  Ahhh…the memories.  By the time I was ten, I had amassed a book collection that rivaled some adults, I’m sure.  My mother always said she never minded spending  money on books, a mantra that I have adopted all through life and continue on with my son.  (Seriously, this kid has a library that would boggle your mind and he’s only eight.)

One day, I decided to go down the fantasy aisle at good ‘ol Waldenbooks and what did I stumble upon?  A book series that would change my life, of course.  I picked up a blue book with a young man, and old monk and an electrified greenish-yellow sword on the cover.  Forging the Darksword became my instant favorite.  I finished it in record time and ran (well, not literally–it was miles away) back to the mall to get the second in the series.  Repeat again with the third.  I couldn’t get enough.  When I was finished with that series, I clamored for more from my new favorite authors, Margaret Weis and Tracy Hickman.  I wasn’t disappointed with the selection.  My next conquest would be The Deathgate Cycle, a seven-book series that captured my entire imagination–and then some.  Then came all the Dragonlance novels, and all the incredible off-shoots that it spawned.

I’d like to thank Margaret and Tracy right now for being my ultimate inspiration for becoming a writer.  Even if I didn’t know it at the time, reading their works forged a life-long love of writing.  I’d like to think that, even if I wasn’t realizing it aright then and there, that all the while when I was writing fanfic, it  was because of those fantastic books I had read as a teen and adult.  I saw that I could become a successful writer and bring my ideas to life.  No plotline was too fantastical.  No character was too quirky, no monster too horrible.

When I decided that writing a novel was what I really wanted to do and put my mind to, my husband encouraged me with all his might.  He even said I didn’t have to go back to work if I was going to really do this!  (What a guy!)  I told him once, as we were at the bookstore looking at the fantasy shelves that I hoped to be here one day, looking at my own book.  I even pointed to the space, right next to Margaret Weis’ books, where I hoped mine would be some day.  (Our last names are close alphabetically!)  He smiled and said it would happen.  Then our son farted and ruined the moment.  (Thanks, kid.)

Reading brings out the best in you and your imagination.  It allows you to leave the real world (and let’s face it, right now there’s a lot about it that SUCKS) and enter into a new realm where you can live vicariously through incredible characters and awe-inspiring stories.  When you’re the author, you have control over your environment and, even if it’s just for a while, can leave reality and make the world how you want it to be.  Characters do what you tell them, say what you want them to say.

I watch my son read some of my old fantasy novels, worn and tattered, and I see the wonder in his eyes.  He finishes a chapter and immediately wants to discuss it.  He hogs my computer so he can write his own works.  He tells me he’s proud of me for trying to write a book.

Who knows, maybe something I create will inspire a nerdy teen out there someday to swallow their fear and go for it–just like I did.

This Is How It Ends…

Published January 11, 2016 by authorbebedora

I’ve come to the end of my fanficition writing career–and I’m okay with it.

Last week I finished my last remaining Star Trek AOS piece.  It took almost a year, with a 6-month hiatus in the middle–because life.

Looking back, I’ve had a great run with fanfic.  What started as a way to look busy in high school economics class without actually *doing* economics turned into one of the most enjoyable activities in my life.  (Note to my Econ teacher:  I’m sorry for not paying attention.  It was 7am, I was tired and had absolutely NO INTEREST in learning about the stock market.)

I sat in the back of the classroom and scribbled in a notebook about my favorite video game at the time, Phantasy Star IV.  I  had no idea what fanfic was, or that it even existed.  I just knew that I loved the story of the game and had a massive crush on one of the characters (yes I’m aware he was a video game wizard).  I wanted to give them new stories–so I did.

It turned into my first fanfic piece, originally written in a notebook and later completed on a desktop word processor, complete with dot matrix printer.  That’s right, I just dated myself.

At the time, I was prouder than hell of it.  Looking back–it was a piece of junk.  We won’t talk about just how terrible it really was.  But gimme a break, I was eighteen years old.  I’ve always dreamt about completely overhauling it, but there isn’t enough time, plain and simple.  The PSIV fandom is small and dying, and that means the re-vamp would more than likely be just for me.

Life then happened: I bought a house, graduated from college, got married and had a kid.  During those times, I never stopped reading fanfic and had always dreamed of writing again, but just never got the chance.  By then I had expanded my reading interests into Star Trek, Final Fantasy VIII and Final Fantasy VII.  There were authors who I loved instantly, and thought “wouldn’t it be the coolest if I knew them?”

Well, lemme tell you folks…I do know some of them now.  One even comes to visit.  Granted, it’s also to see her family here, but I’m calling it a win.  (BTW, Ashbear, I miss you and you need to get  your butt up here soon.)  I’ve made some of the most wonderful friends through fanfic.  It’s such a comforting feeling to know that there’s others out there who make their own headcanon, appreciate the inner workings of characters’ minds and try to put them in different situations, just like you.

Without fanfic, I would never have met some of the coolest people ever.  I wouldn’t have my beta and dear friend.  We met over a love of a certain bumbling Estharian President and forged a friendship that, even though is separated by a thousand miles, still burns strong.  We’ve never met face-to-face, but that doesn’t make us any less close.  We’ve shared good times, heartbreak and some extremely silly moments–just not in person.

After my son was born, I decided to take the plunge and write again.  I started slow, with my first oneshot.  Of course, it starred Laguna and Squall.  Because reasons.

All along, I had been brewing an incredible plot line in my head, one that I knew if I started, it would be epic.  I kept writing small oneshots while planning what would become Phoenix.

Sixty-five chapters, and just under 230,000 words.  No small feat, and it took forever.  But I’m so proud of what I accomplished, and it gave me the courage to delve into another fandom:  Star Trek AOS (the new movies.)

I’m no stranger to hurting poor Captain Kirk and taking Bones along for the ride.  I’ve been told I’m the queen of hurt!Jim and angst, and I’m happy to accept the title.  I love that people enjoy what I create, even if it is bringing a certain Starfeet Golden Boy to the brink time and again.

I’ve written twenty-two fanfic pieces in total, some very short and several multi-chapter works.  Each one holds a special place in my heart, has some sort of meaning.  They were all written in different frames of mind, with a plethora of “life stuff” going on around me.

This past summer, my son and I were working on a “strategy guide” for games me makes up in his head and in binders.  Seriously guys, the mind and imagination of this seven-year-old is beyond anything you can imagine.  I’m so proud of him.

What started off as me trying to come up with a plot for his “game”, turned into what would become my original fantasy novel.

When I realized what I had created, I abandoned my book about my son and all the crazy shit he’s said in his short life so far and concentrated on bringing this new world to life.

But I knew in order to completely devote my time to my new venture, I’d have to leave fanfic behind.  I thought I’d be sad, but I’m not.  I’m more relieved than anything else.  Don’t get me wrong, I love writing fanfic.  But there’s just something magical about creating my own characters, universe and stories.  And it’s also terrifying.  I don’t have existing canon to glean from anymore.  It’s all me.

There will more than likely be a day when I return to fic, because I still have a “vault” full of ideas and a few oneshots in various stages of completion.

But for now, I say goodbye to the characters that I’ve spent so many years sending to new places, meeting new people and having grand adventures.

Goodbye, Rune Walsh.  Someday I’ll clean your story up and give it a nice new magical Frade Mantle to run around in.

Goodbye, Laguna Loire.  Some of my most favorite pieces I’ve ever written are just that because you’ve made them so damn funny.  I’m not sorry I got you drunk and made you play truth or dare.  It was entertaining, admit it.

Goodbye Squall Leonhart.  You were an angsty butthead and gave me a lot of headaches.  I tortured you and you still loved me in the end.  I know the situation with Raine was terrible, but in the end you got your mother back.  You have a new life to enjoy and I sincerely hope you do.

Goodbye Fated Children.  Yes, I really only focused on Selphie and Irvine, but you were all there in spirit.  And Selphie, don’t worry about squishing spiders.  Irvy’s got your back.

Goodbye Jim Kirk.  What I did to Commander Leonhart looks like child’s play compared to what I put you through.  The darkest place I’ve even traveled in fanfic was with you.  We’ve been to hell and back together and survived to tell the tale.

Goodbye Leonard McCoy.  I’ll miss you most of all.  I’ll miss your crabbiness, your skepticism, your crass sense of humor.  But most of all I’ll miss watching pledge your unwavering support (and sometimes love) to your friends, especially Kirk.  When I made the shit hit the fan, you were always there to pick up the pieces.  You waited until you were in private to crumble, but I’m proud of you that you actually let it happen.

Goodbye fanfic.

It’s been a blast and I’ll miss you–but life moves forward.

You’ll have a new sibling soon–a fantasy novel that I hope will be as incredible as I think it will be.  I won’t forget about you–how could I?  I promise to revisit again, and torture Jim Kirk for old time’s sake.



Writer’s block sucks.

Published February 6, 2015 by authorbebedora

I’ve been working on the same paragraph of one of my fanfiction pieces for close to a month.

Awesome, I know.

But here’s the thing:  it’s not for lack of trying.  I just can’t seem to get the words to cooperate.  The outline is there.  The ideas are there.  The characters are there–more often than not impatiently waiting for me to put them in some (usually dire) situation.

For a while, I thought it was because I had too many pieces going at once.  I mean, let’s face it–two multi-chapter fics, plus five oneshots in various stages of completion, plus beta work, not to mention my own original piece…that’s a lot.  But then I realized I actually work better when I’ve got a lot on my plate.

There have been many a night where I have both a Star Trek and Final Fantasy VIII piece open on the desktop.  I flit back and forth between both of them, chugging along as I occasionally look up to watch my husband rob a bank or terrorize Los Santos with an ill-gotten tank.  (Goddamn, I love GTA.)

I don’t know why, but I find myself having the most problems concentrating when the house is quiet during the day.  This should be my prime time to write:  no loud kid, no constant begging for a snack or water or an ass-wiping.  But there I sit, staring out the window, mentally cursing Jim Kirk and Leonard McCoy for being stubborn.  So, I switch to Final Fantasy and find myself angry at a certain Commander and his spunky colleague with her giant nunchaku.  I finally open my original work documents and make a little progress–I’ve come up with a list of the random-ass things I’ve found in the boy’s bed over the last few years.

Will it make a good chapter or “something” in my book?  Who the fuck knows?

All I do know at this point in time is that it’s cold in the house, I should probably do dishes, and if Captain Kirk doesn’t cooperate soon I’ll be forced to take drastic measures.

You hear that, Jimmy?


I guess my readers will enjoy that, though.  After all, Hurt!Jim is what I do best.


Published January 19, 2015 by authorbebedora

Okay, so, here’s my blog.

I have absolutely no idea what I’m doing.  There’ll probably be a lot of cussing, though.

I write fanfiction–Star Trek 2009, Final Fantasy VIII and Phantasy Star IV.  I’m also trying to write an actual book.  I watch Star Trek and love the music of A-ha.  (And after 30 years, their lead singer is still SMOKIN’ HOT.)  I eat too much candy and my kid is obsessed with Rammstein.  My husband is an aspiring screenwriter and likes to shoot facehuggers at me.  We quote Ghostbusters waaaaaay too much. My living room floor is littered with Legos and I’m pretty sure we have a posessed R2-D2 whatchamacalit.  Seriously, it beeps and “talks” when there’s no one even remotely close to it.  Demons, I tell ‘ya.

I’ve been doing this writing thing a long time.  I started in high school.  I had Economics class at 7:30 in the fucking morning.  When I wasn’t asleep in the back row, I was writing what I now know to be “fanfiction.”  At the time, I had no idea such a marvelous thing existed.  I just loved a video game and its characters so much–Phantasy Star IV–that I figured it would be cool to write a story about it.

And write I did.

Looking back, it was a total load of shit, but damn if I wasn’t proud of it when I did it!  It took me the better part of two years to finish, but it was long and involved…and full of errors. I recently went back and re-read a portion of it and had to hold in my barf.  Seriously, it was that bad.  Maybe someday I’ll revamp it.  I posted it on a now-defunct website and thankfully, it’s gone from the interwebs.  (actually, it’s still there…but you’d need some pretty hardcore detectin’ skillz to find it.)  The story is actually quite solid and I even started sequel, but I’m just way to fucking busy to do it right now.

Fast forward to 2003 when I found  It was as if the Universe opened up it’s doors and I was introduced to the wonderful world of fan fiction.  I read voraciously.  Phantasy Star, Final Fantasy, Star Trek…I couldn’t get enough.  I stumbled upon a certain story about a certain orphan-turned-hero without his whiny “girlfriend” and a beautiful and long-lasting friendship was born.  (you know who you are…)

I took a hiatus from everything fanfiction to squeeze out a kid and when he was a toddler, I came back.  With a vengeance.  I had ideas swirling around in my head that wouldn’t shut the hell up.  One day, probably while exhausted, wearing a shirt crusted with boogers and mushed peas, I decided to indulge the voices and write something.

And to my surprise, it got attention.   Lots of it.

That was all I needed.  I kept writing, wrote more and more and before I knew it I had several epic multi-chapter works as well as a dozen or so oneshots.

Writing is such a wonderful outlet.  Sure, I love being a mom, but sometimes I just need to sit and hurt Captain Kirk or make a certain Estharian President play truth-or-dare.  And let me tell you, once you’ve written an intense fight scene with a child jumping on the couch next to you screaming, “Mom, watch this!”, you realize you can do anything.

I’ve just begun my next adventure of an original work.  It’s in its infancy, but I’m so excited about it I could just scream.  I finally have time to work on it since the dude is in school all day and I don’t work anymore, so I guess I can’t put it off any longer.

Here’s to the beginning of my journey into writing something that is actually my own, and not just borrowing characters and torturing them.  (Because yes…poor Captain Kirk and Commander Leonhart have suffered tremendously…and will continue to…*evil laughter*)  This will be my space to rant and rave, probably swear a lot and muse about life.  Oh, and update anyone who cares to read my ramblings on my writing.

Like, thanks for reading, or something.